The Next Beginning...

This week I did something I considered fairly ordinary - that turned out to be extraordinary - and as it happens, anyone who wants to live a life of 'Worthwhile' can do this. It didn’t take at all long, and I didn’t think about it for any length of time beyond the ‘Now Moment’ in which I was doing it. Moreover, I had no intention of posting a note about it, as I considered it barely ‘Noteworthy’. But my perception of it changed rather unexpectedly, when the woman that shares my madness, my sadness, my happiness and my bathroom, suggested that this arbitrary event should be the centrepiece of a public post.

“What wonderful comedy” I remarked as I pondered her misfiring sense of humour, since I had of course, prepared something else that was brewing inside of me for days. I had it ready; a profound wisdom with a sharp edge, a large footprint and the weight of a falling anvil. Naturally, I resisted, but she insisted - and when she does that, I know she means business. So, I parked my resistance and contemplated her suggestion until finally, I decided to pretend it was entirely my idea, since, here was an opportunity to properly convey the dynamic landscape and thematic diversity of Forever & Always in a nutshell as it were.

It occurred to me, that because of who I have chosen to ‘be’, and therein whom I have become, a simple act that I might consider ordinary, may only appear ordinary to me - because it occurs inherently inside a ‘way of life’ that I have chosen and created for myself. Outside that ‘way of life’ reality, what I might consider to be natural and instinctive response - may in fact appear uncommonly thoughtful or insightful or even profound to somebody else. So I determined that this simplest of acts that I take for granted, this behavioural commitment that emerges from a struggle to ‘be’ the outcome of choices rather than inevitability - whatever that might look like – MUST indeed - be worth mentioning.

However, before I share anything at all, I will challenge you with this assertion: There is nothing that you can successfully ‘do’ without first ‘becoming’ the person that you need to ‘be’ in order to ‘do’ it the way that you imagine. If for example you are not ‘being’ an amazing surgeon, the likelihood of you carrying out amazing surgical procedures is - microscopic. It is simple, but universal truth. In fact, in the broader but specific context of Personal Happiness and Relationship Fulfilment, the transition to a life of ‘Emotional Freedom’ is just the beginning, albeit, a very powerful beginning that takes a great deal of behavioural unravelling an emotional relearning to create. But having done that, who you are then capable of ‘becoming’ for the rest of your life, will be limited ONLY by the choices that you make. Choices that would not otherwise be available to you. Choices that in this ‘Now moment’ wouldn’t register as 'available' despite you preferring to believe, that they would.

The choice that I have made for my life is to have the most profound engagements that I can have with every human being that I come into contact with – at every possible opportunity. For me, there is no longer any other way to properly live. This principle applies uniformly to all engagements, including and especially, those with my children. I have two girls aged 15 and 12 who rely on me to guide them. That is my commitment (as it should be) and NOT just because they are my children, rather, because they are the Next Beginning.

Recently, I noticed they were a little unsettled. That’s very much what they do at their respective, tender ages when life catapults them with velocity across hormonal minefields. So without over-thinking it, I stole a brief moment from my crazy, busy life and texted a message to them at 9:30am on a school day, that their mother intercepted; which is in fact, why ‘we are gathered here today’. The message read:
“Dear girls, in case I don’t tell you often enough, you are both different and you are both perfect! Your mother and I see magic inside each of you in different ways and for different things – and that !!! – is exactly how it should be. Love who you are. If you cannot do that right now, come and talk to me. I will explain how it works and how simple it actually is to CHOOSE this wonderful way of being. Have fun today and remember – you ‘own’ your happiness. Daddy”.

It doesn’t take much to make every difference, provided it is done when it is NEEDED, rather than as an obligation, when something is EXPECTED or as is often the case, when you can eventually FIND the TIME - which incidentally, is a funny thing to say when you understand that we still know very little about what TIME actually is. Science fun aside, try to see that the act of GIVING what is needed of YOU - is not a planned, expected, photographed and professionally choreographed special occasion that comes complete with a greeting card and a 5 piece band. That maybe what you have learned (or, what you prefer to believe into your reality based on what you have been taught) but stick around and we will unlearn this counterproductive nonsense together.

Importantly, I have determined that the BIG things we typically anticipate, the so-called life changing moments that we either wait for or plan for, hope for and that we erroneously assume will make up for ignoring the smaller moments that we dismiss because they demand our involvement at the expense of our interest (rather than our superficial participation) ARE in point of ironic fact, only the cumulative outcome of the smaller moments that we usually choose to ignore. The same moments, that, require YOU to give YOU to somebody else – usually only in small ways – but almost always when it is DIFFICULT or INCONVENIENT to do so.

If you are confused about that, and you believe that periodic, large scale unexpected or planned celebratory events are what life changing BIG things look like and you are saving your engagement energy just for those and waiting for the cameras to roll for you, then my friend and my enemy, not only will you MISS the things that actually matter, you will have DELUDED yourself about what you have accomplished.

In personal and relationship happiness terms - everybody loses, including of course, YOU. I hope you can see the gravity of that.

Today – the forces of the universe compelled me to ‘be’ your friend rather than your enemy and I think I may have enjoyed the change of pace.